Narcissistic abuse severely drains our life-force and affects us on every level; emotionally, spiritually, physically and often financially.
Our emotions are in tatters with what feels like an unfathomable cocktail of shock, denial, grief, betrayal, shame and rage that seem to spin around and around.
Our spirit feels broken as though we have been soul raped. Our physical health often suffers – CPTSD, Chronic Fatigue and hair loss are common. As though all of this wasn’t enough, we often face financial crisis.
The extreme losses we suffer of everything dear to us leaves us devastated beyond words and wondering how we will ever recover or even how will we go on living.
I truly understand. I have been there. When I left the narcissistic relationship , I lost everything and left the country for Bali, Indonesia.
I had no support from my family. Due to long-standing strains in my family stemming from abuse issues as a child, I had no contact with them.
I remember arriving in Bali and feeling completely alone in the world. I had lost, the love I thought I had, my family, my home. Because of the situation with my family I didn’t even feel as though I could go back to my home country. I felt like a foundling, just wandering and belonging nowhere.
On top of this, I was a Relationship Coach, at that time, meaning my work of course was directly affected and I lost that too. I felt utterly ashamed and like a fraud.
My whole identity as I had known it was gone. I felt abandoned by God and confused beyond words as I had been on a whole journey of inner work to attract the love of my life and then teach women how to do the same. How could this be? How could I ever come back from this? I was truly at rock bottom.
But I discovered a way to heal. I needed to go inside and release the trauma of my marriage and indeed my childhood, out of my body. Along with this, I got to know “Little Julie-Anne” inside me. I re-connected with her and started loving her back to health and wholeness.
During all of this I realized that there was a beautiful gift within my experiences. The gift of healing all my deepest wounds and not only that, but being able to take all of the healing, wisdom and experience to other women to support them to heal. I began truly living from my soul.
God had not abandoned me. The Divine had been with me and working FOR me all along.
When I started to see this clearly, I got to work on going within to heal and miraculously my outer world began to reflect the real me, the healthy me.
Even though I know it can be almost impossible to see it at the time, in the bigger picture, narcissistic abuse is a spiritual wake-up call of the highest order. It is so worth doing the inner work and seizing the invitation to break free into your true self and your true life.