A very Happy Holiday weekend to you, I hope you are enjoying a little break and relaxation.
Thank you for all of your wonderful feedback on my last article about trauma. I am so glad it resonated with so many of you.
I would like to stay with that theme and go a little deeper.
To recap: almost all of us have experienced trauma, whether in the womb, in our childhoods and/or adulthoods and through our ancestors, our DNA and even in past lives.
We experienced a traumatic event, and the resulting trauma became wedged in our bodies. At the same time, we took on a belief or “view of the world” on that particular topic.
For example, let’s say our mother left us alone for our first day at school, and we felt abandoned. The overwhelming feeling of trauma and the body’s natural hormone-producing response to trauma, got stuck in our bodies. At the same time, we took on the belief “I am abandoned.” We did this to safeguard ourselves against ever being abandoned again, thinking that if we are on high alert with a strong defense against being abandoned, it won’t happen to us.
In fact, the opposite happens and through this belief and our unconscious corresponding behaviors, we find that we seem to invite the very thing we fear most; being abandoned.
When we are living life within this cycle and perspective, it is like viewing life through a straw – a very narrow view of the world with no real possibilities.
Of course, it could also be that we were indeed actually abused, neglected or mistreated, however; the experienced trauma and the beliefs taken on are more about how we interpret our experiences. That’s why two people can experience the same thing, but have very different reactions and interpretations, thus; it will affect them in different ways.
This is just one simple example. Now, imagine having the same cycle going around on multiple topics, and it becomes easy to see how stuck we can become with being our best selves and creating the lives and love we desire.
This can be so confusing, frustrating and despairing. How is it that despite our best efforts, nothing changes?
Our external world is ALWAYS a reflection of what is happening on the inside. So within, so without.
So how do we unravel the mystery of this?
We have been taught endlessly that we need to change or “let go” of our limiting beliefs. Why hasn’t this worked for us?
We have been told to our inner child. Many of us have been doing this. Why do we still feel so stuck?
What we are not often told is how absolutely vital it is to release the accumulated trauma out of our bodies. This is why we may find some relief and gain a degree of insight, but often do not gain the deep and lasting healing that completely turns our lives around, lives where we are generating and creating from the inside out.
Lasting healing requires a combination and a firm commitment to each of these elements. They work hand in hand with each other.
First, we have to be willing to meet the traumatized parts of ourselves. We have to get out of our minds and get into our bodies. This involves coming face to face with the unhealed and wounded parts of ourselves or our “little ones” within and their various ages.
We begin to meet them, to be there for them unconditionally –no matter how they show up and what traumatized state they are in.
This is key. We must meet our wounded parts unconditionally. That means without attachment to outcome. We meet ourselves simply because we are worthy of love just as we are.
We keep doing this with the utmost devotion. What we are doing here is building a foundation of trust between ourselves and our little one within.
If you know any mothers with a two-year old child, you know that child needs a lot of attention. If a mother is busy doing other things and not paying attention, the child will become more and more demanding until he or she is having temper tantrums and causing all manner of chaos! However, as the mother pays attention and reaches out with care, love and devotion, the child starts to calm down.
It’s a bit like this when we first connect with our younger selves. They may have been neglected for some time while we have been scared to face the pain and busy distracting ourselves with work, friends, relationships or any number of addictive behaviors.
That’s not to say it’s our fault. We may have known no other way, and have done what we can to survive.
Along with meeting these parts of ourselves and building a new relationship with our younger self within, we need to actually release the trauma out of our body. This is essential, otherwise the trauma will stay stuck in our body, and nothing will change despite our best efforts.
In doing this, we create space inside ourselves to begin to have clarity, which gives us the answers and insights that we want to move forward. Suddenly, we organically transform the old beliefs. Why? Because contrary to what we have been taught, the mind follows the body. Not the other way around. The body knows, always.
I know and have experienced that when we are wholly committed to ourselves in this way, magic and miracles occur. We co-create with life from the inside out, rather than searching for and clinging to external things to fulfil us.
To re-cap in simple steps:
1. Meet the traumatized, unhealed parts of ourselves
2. Build a relationship with our younger self inside
3. Release the trauma out of our bodies and replace with source/love/universal energy
4. Our limiting beliefs will organically begin to transform because the mind follows the body
I welcome your comments and how you resonate with this.
I would love to support you in this process. Do feel free to get in touch if you would like to chat about my coaching/healing programs and how you can shift the trauma, love yourself to overflowing, organically transform your beliefs and bring in love all around you, including the love of your life.
Sending so much love your way,